Remembering Sam

Ten years ago an article from my college’s newspaper, The Daily Aztec, on January 29^th 2002 began as follows:

“The news that a San Diego State student died of meningitis Saturday morning sent shock waves through the university yesterday.

Samantha Graham, a communication senior, is believed to have contracted the disease over Winter Break. She was to graduate this spring.”

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve read a story such as this and thought, Wow, that’s too bad they were so young or maybe saw the headline and not thought much more of it as I continued on with my day. My point is it never really hits you until it hits close to home.

Samantha Graham was a friend of mine, a classmate and co-worker all rolled into one. Her death hit close to home. I had lost older family members but when someone who is your age dies, especially at a younger age, there is something that will rock you to your core. I imagine our military men and women have come to understand this far to well.

Samantha left behind a twin sister, Abby, who I was and am still friends with today. I can’t imagine how the loss of Sam feels for her. I always identified the Graham’s as twins, a pair and it was hard to picture one without the other, even when I was around either of them without the other, I always pictured them as a package deal. Like those broken heart necklaces that were once popular that said “Best” on one side and “Friends” on the other and fit so nicely together; even when they are apart you know there is a match that makes it whole.

Nothing is a bigger test of faith than death, especially when it involves someone we have grown so close with. Jesus Christ did not want to die either and think of the questions of faith even his followers had when our world’s savior breathed his last breath on the cross. Do you think they questioned their faith? I’m reminded of Jesus’ appearance to several of his disciples after his own death on the road to Emmaus from Luke 24:13-32 (Read it).

Death seems so unfair when it comes so early and unexpectedly. Jesus arrived in Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and was crucified on Good Friday. It was unexpected just as Sam’s death was unexpected.

I get “the angry with God” feeling! I actually think its ok. I think we are suppose to tell him how angry we feel, tell why it is unfair, how hurt we are. I even think its ok to ask him and ourselves “why” why her, why him, why now, why did this happen? I think it is ok to do all of this as long as you are communicating with God. Go ahead let him have it.

It was August of 1998 and I was beginning my first semester at San Diego State University. I lived in the dorms, Tenochca Hall, 3^rd Floor. The first two female students I met were Samantha and Abby Graham. I can picture the moment still, two beautiful girls with beaming smiles as excited as I was to embark on our college experience. Samantha as it turns out lived above me on the fourth floor the same floor as a young woman who would eventually become my wife, Gina. Gina recalls Sam as being one of the few girls who lived on her floor whom she genuinely liked because of how friendly she was. I eventually went on to work with Sam and Abby as front desk assistants and later resident advisers. Sam and I worked in the same dorm hall and was one of my favorite co-workers. Sam and I even were in the same Spanish class one semester. We both had our own college lives, which kept us busy, and doing our own thing much of the time, but I very much considered her a friend.

At the funeral my heart broke watching Abby and thinking how this was all affecting her. Abby spoke at her sister funeral and it strengthened me. Even though I don’t remember what she said exactly I have always remembered she stood up. I remembered it when my Dad and my Grandpa died and Abby’s strength, even years later, gave me strength.

Odds are if Sam were here today, I’d occasionally message her on Facebook, or click “like” if she commented about the Aztecs going to the sweet sixteen, but I don’t know how much our relationship would grow outside of that. I think of her and Abby much more often than I would have if she were here and as strange as it sounds our relationship has grown. I also know she is in a great place now and that is not just religious talk but a deeply routed feeling which tells me its fact.

This post may have seemed to ramble or seemed to run on, but its my tribute to my dear friend Samantha Graham and also my hope that each person that reads this will remember everyone they have lost and talk to them whenever they feel the need. Just like the Best Friends necklace I mentioned earlier just because you are apart doesn’t mean the other half is not out there somewhere, even in death.

Please visit NMAUS.ORG to make a donation in the memory of Samantha Graham

Be Excellent To Each Other

Sometimes the greatest wisdom is found in the most unlikely places. Two high schoolers, Ted Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire from the 1989 comedy Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure are traveling through history in an attempt to find a few iconic figures for a history report, instead they stumble on much more; the meaning of life. “Be Excellent to Each Other!” and “Party on Dude!”

Three children are playing on a playground when they decide to play a game to see who can climb to the top of the play structure and slide down the slide first. Three parents look on from the side of playground. The race begins in fury of screams and giggles as the three children sprint across the sand towards the play structure. About midway up the play structure one of the kids slips on a stair and falls hard and begins crying. The two other children glance back and one continues onward to the top of the structure, elated to have won, while the other stops in his tracks and returns to his injured companion.

How does the parent of the injured child feel? How does the parent of the child who sacrificed the race for his friend feel? How does the parent of the “victorious” child feel? How do each of the children feel after the event is done and finished?

No amount of success or wealth will matter unless it has been obtained righteously. You will become broken and cynical if you use others as a stepping stone to your climb up the play structure, if you build yourself up on the failures of others. The need for wealth becomes insatiable as you use “stuff” to attempt to heal that brokenness.

Be Excellent to Each Other! Do unto others as you would have them do to you! In business seek to create win-win situations. Don’t make it your goal to put others out of business but simply make your business better. Chances are in your personal life you have come to respect those who have treated you with excellence and not those who have a great resume. When you are at the end of your days you will have little regret if you have treated people right.

Party on Dude! Keep on, keeping on! Enjoy life! First, be excellent to each other, then Party on! You are meant to enjoy life here on earth despite the hardships that come. Hardships will come and hopefully you have some people in your life to help you through them. Hopefully you help others through theirs. We weren’t created to survive, hope that angels are with us and pray for miracles. We were created to rule this earth and bring goodness to one another, to make miracles happen through human actions. Angels do exist and serve a purpose. God allows for true divine miracles to happen but the design is for us to work in concert. The heavy lifting is meant to be shared!

So on Monday morning when you walk back onto the playground; have fun. Race to the top of the play structure and try your best to win...but don’t win at all costs. Don’t run every race, sit on the swings and be your friend’s biggest fan. When your parents tell you its time to go home, look back and reflect on the good times you had and look forward to tomorrow. Party on Dudes!

We Rise Again -- Remembering OPD Officer Dan Bessant

I never knew Officer Dan Bessant as he was gunned down about four months before I started the Police Academy. I was about midway through the application process to become a police officer for the City of Oceanside on the night Dan was murdered. Sitting at home with my wife the night of December 20th, 2006 we could hear endless sirens from nearby College Blvd and in the distance. I knew that something big had happen. The next morning I learned what tragedy had unfolded. The loss of a human life, a warrior, an officer.

A battle was waged in heaven and Satan was cast out for his pride. The battle continues here on earth....The goodness of man's heart battling sins of the flesh. In the end good prevails but the battle must be fought, the days long, the hour dark and sometimes all will seem lost....but fight we must. When our comrades are struck down we must not forget that their souls have been ransomed and salvaged. For when Dan was gunned down in cold blood, his earthly body did die..........his flesh was bloodied and torn but his soul lives and his uniform of wool, kevlar armor and semi-automatic pistol were cast aside as he dawned his new uniform of light, armor of righteousness and God's mighty sword as he took up his new position in St. Michael's Army. He will continue to keep guard over Heaven's gates, keeping watch over his earthly brothers. The battle against evil is not yet finished, his fight continues but fear not because Satan's demons are no match for God's warriors. Sins days are numbered. In our own time we will meet Dan and the rest of God's soldiers on streets of Gold!

The Power of the Christmas Season

When I first watched this, I watched it live, it was a cloudy day and it was dark and gray in the house all morning long...there is a segment were Glenn says the following:

"I think we are missing the true power of God, the power of the season the power of Christmas. If you are just lighting a candle for the season, well then you are missing out on the point that Miracles can and do happen. And now more than ever, I think, God is crying out to us and telling us he will sustain us, he will light our way. I know it to be true."

Just as he was saying this and reached the point "he will light our way" the sun streamed in through the blinds of the window in front of me. Some will call it coincidence, but I will call it GOD!

Everyday Heroes (The Atlas Patriot)

Everything that is good about America is and always has been derived from its people. Individuals! I’m quite confident that if we look at all that is wrong with our country today we can find the answer within ourselves. We assume that everything will work out. We assume that because we have been born into greatness and lived in the greatest country in the world that it is a guarantee. The truth is many of us have forgotten that freedom must be fought for and goodness manifests itself through actions rather than thought. What is the point of your existence? Is it about acquiring as much wealth as you can, as much stuff as you can, as much entertainment as you can, while you can? Do others matter at all?

We need to change ourselves so that we put others above ourselves. We must sacrifice some of our own comforts for others; we must serve. Until we change ourselves we can’t expect our families to change, our friends to change, our communities and our country to change. It is time to jump off the bandwagon. We can’t just sit idly by anymore. It takes courage to act and act we must.

Look to the heroes in your life. Look to the people who you believe to be good people. Look to those that put themselves last. Look to those who stand by their principles. We have to incorporate the goodness of others into ourselves and vice versa. It starts with little things and the little things combine to form big things. There are many iconic heroes that have existed throughout history many of whom did nothing extraordinary in their lives but simply stood by their principles or put others first.

Our politicians are not going to fix the problems that exist in America today. It has to start with ourselves and with our families. It is not an easy task and will take work, but we must be willing to put the effort into it. Start by setting a goal for yourself, a simple goal, then repeat it on a weekly basis then once it becomes routine, expand on it with a new goal and then another and another.

I hope to in the future of this blog to tell about some of the everyday heroes in my life, the Atlas Patriots! In the meantime don’t expect things to happen, make them happen!

A Message of Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for many things. Life comes with its hardships. I am thankful. Not a day goes by that there is not some challenge to be dealt with. I am thankful. 1776 this country I love was born! I am Thankful. Many have died for her since. I am Thankful. I am thankful for my wife, my children my family. I have had a good life.

It’s easy to lose sight; our focus blurred. The world seems so evil. America seems to be failing. The world we recognized as children is not the same today. I am still thankful. Increased crime, increased terror, increased heartache. I am still thankful. I am still thankful because in spite of it all there are still miracles….still people who believe, who love, who care for others, put others above themselves, put principles above themselves…selflessness STILL exists. I am still thankful.

Each day I put on a uniform, a gun and a badge. Oh the hardships that comes with it. I am always thankful. I don’t always like it. There are days I’d rather walk away from it all. Days I don’t want to go to work. I am always thankful. A molested child, A dead body, A battered woman, A broken home, A broken marriage, A broken family. Blood, tears, screams, hate! I am always thankful. There are helping hands, people who heal, shoulders to cry on. Heroes…in uniform and out. I am always thankful. Giving of money, of time, of heart, mind and soul……giving of everything! SACRIFICE……I am always thankful.

Salvation! He died for our sins! A second chance! A chance to live life the best we can in a fallen world so we can spend eternity in heaven. An unrivaled plan! A fallen world where miracles happen. A God who loves. An amazing plan for each one of our lives. Earthly failure is not heavenly failure. Man created in HIS image….the glory that is evident in his creation, even with the presence of sin. LIGHT will cast out darkness. Good prevails, we win. HE wins! ETERNAL LIFE………..

THANK YOU! FOR ETERNITY

Hypocrisy

I’m willing to bet that every person who has ever lived has been guilty of being a hypocrite at one point or another during his or her own lifetime. As for myself, I know for a fact that I have not only been a hypocrite at some point in my life but am probably guilty of hypocrisy on a daily basis. Most the time I probably don’t even realize it. What happens when I do realize that I have been a hypocrite? Do I brush it off? Do I make excuses? Do I reflect on it? Do I attempt to fix it? Do I apologize?

I am a hypocrite and I’m also a Christian. Christians often come across as the most hypocritical people on the planet. Ivory tower preaching while living sinful lives can be hard for others to accept. Christians are often the biggest enemy of Christianity. In a fallen world, no human is without sin but the expectation is that the religious should be, the power on the microscope is dialed up for us and rightfully so. Christians are expected to live up to the “Gold Standard” the teachings and standards set in the Bible.

Hypocrisy of non-Christians….

There is no separation of church and state clause in the U.S. Constitution, yet the attack on Christianity has been staggering. Remove crosses from public lands remove prayer, remove God and any references and images of religion. U.S. started as place people would come to for religious freedom and now religion itself is under attack.

In California, creationism and religion is not taught in public school but now a block of education will be dedicated to the topic of homosexuality. Why is one considered ok and not the other? Why is it ok to attack Judeo-Christian beliefs and symbols? Why can people attack the religious through labeling, stereotyping and name-calling? If somebody attacks or vandalizes based on sexual preference, race or religion it is considered a hate crime however it has become acceptable to erase Christianity from public view and public ear.

It’s easy to look back on history and see what Hitler did with the Jews. We all acknowledge the attempted eradication of anything Jewish. Some of us even ask how they could not see it coming or why didn’t they stop it. It’s happening here in the United States. Jews and Christians are used as a scapegoat. There is an increased attempt to make us appear evil, uneducated and antiquated.

I urge everyone reading this post, both religious and atheist to look in a mirror before putting others under a microscope. Be watchful those who speak in absolutes, be watchful of hypocrisy.