Personal Responsibility vs. External Locus of Control

The Devil made me do it! The blame game! It’s not my fault! Recently my five year old has been struggling with personal responsibility. I throw him a perfectly thrown ball and he drops it. The ensuing response…”That was your fault!” “You didn’t keep your eye on the ball,” I say. His reply, “I did!” Try to explain why something happened the way it did and be ready for an excuse. The frequent excuses and blame shifting drives me crazy.

Then again he is only five years old. I still have time to establish a sense of personal responsibility. What about adults who have an external locus of control? I mean we all do to some degree, but some of us are in the advanced stages of this disease. I think politicians must be particularly susceptible to it but I digress.

The lack of personal responsibility is a major problem with society today. Think of the people you admire most, bosses you have enjoyed working for, leaders you have respected…where were they on the spectrum of personal responsibility? Blame shifting has never been an admirable quality yet so many people do it. To make matters worse we have people and programs, which foster an external locus of control. These enablers are not necessarily bad people and their intentions may be good…but as the saying goes: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

We have an obligation to teach personal responsibility and model it for others. A strong sense of personal responsibility also leads to positive self-image and sense of accomplishment when we do achieve something. We need to invest in our own self-worth. This is why social programs that offer a hand-up ad not a hand out are so much more successful in the long term. “If you teach a man to fish….”

This is why the Founding Fathers got it right when they penned the unalienable right, “the PURSUIT of happiness” and not simply “happiness.” The struggle in life is what makes it satisfying its what makes you feel proud of your accomplishments. It’s why a class system from poverty to elite is necessary. It’s why concepts such as “Social Justice” are wrong. This does not mean however that we as individuals (not a collective) do not have a responsibility to help those less fortunate. But we must target our charity to the can nots and not the will nots. We must teach personal responsibility.

For us to have a truly productive, flourishing successful society and nation we must be willing to recognize our INDIVIDUAL mistakes and be honest with ourselves. We need to learn from the past and not live in it.

9/11 -- Have we Forgotten?

Has America Forgotten???

The ten-year anniversary of 9/11 has come and gone and sadly it has left me thinking that Americans have already forgotten. The days and weeks leading up to the anniversary were filled with various television specials about the tragic event. Unfortunately many networks saw the anniversary as an opportunity to attempt to get ratings by airing conspiracy theories rather than making it about somber remembrance, heroes and the American spirit.

I wonder how much of the “We will never forget,” mantra is simply a fashionable saying and less reality. I love America and Americans. I think we are a unique and strong willed people that value freedom and will come together in times of crisis. But the truth is we do forget. We get comfortable with routine, involved in our own lives, our own interests and own concerns. Yes we are charitable and loving but we are also distracted. Sure we may never forget the events of 9/11 but I think we forgot along time ago how it made us feel that day and who we were on 9/12.

As you may or may not know I am a police officer. 09/11/11 was a workday for me and I felt honored to put my uniform on that day, placing our department’s 9/11 commemorative badge on my chest. I began my shift in the afternoon and at that time there was one tray of cookies with a card from one family and their young children thanking us. (Which I always find awkward being thank collectively but it is much appreciated). I did not see any additional cards at the conclusion of my shift 10.5 hours later. As I went through my shift I had a box of small American flags (made in the U.S.A. of course) that I had planned to hand out to kids I may have come across during my shift. Unfortunately the radio had other plans for me and it was business as usual. Call to call, contact to contact, house to house and business to business. 9/11/11 and outside of a much appreciated card and tray of cookies, there was not one thank you, not one hand shake, not one appreciative horn honk as I drove by. A full box of American flags on the seat next to me that I didn’t get to hand out and I wondered if it even mattered.

I don’t enjoy being a Police Officer because I want special attention or people to come thank me for the job I do. I don’t look for praise. The lack of it on the ten-year anniversary however; stung me to the core. Has America forgotten?

No! That one card with scribbled handwriting and misspelled words and tray full of cookies tells me that as long as one person remembers all is not lost.

A Simpler Time: What can you offer?

Imagine for a minute that the world was reset to a “simpler” time. Much of today’s technology does not exist. If you want food you have to grow it, hunt it, gather it OR trade something tangible for it. The Barter System. You have to provide something that people want or need to get what you want or need because money does not exist. What can you offer?

I asked myself this question and the answer I got was luke warm at best. Sure there are plenty of things that I can do. Plenty of things that I’m good at in the current service oriented America we live in. What if I had to be a producer though? What if I needed to create something that was an absolute necessity? Heck, I can’t even keep a cactus alive, let alone grow my own food. Every Spring I tell myself, OK this year I’m going to grow some vegetables. You know nothing crazy, I’m not a farmer or anything and like many of you I don’t live on a huge chunk of land. By grow vegetables I mean a tomato plant in a pot and maybe some zucchini and a pepper plant or two. Every year it seems I end with the same result…. A plant with one shriveled zucchini and a few small peppers. Thank you tomato plant! Some how tomatoes I have found moderate success with. I can buy a tomato plant and actually get my money back in tomatoes, by shear luck no doubt and the clever biologist who found ways to engineer idiot proof tomato plants.

My grandfather was an amazing woodworker. Every year he would make some truly amazing toys for children’s hospitals at Christmas time. Each of his creations had the upmost attention to detail and quality. He could do anything with wood. I can remember him reworking a piece of wood, repainting it and in many instances starting over if it was not perfect. He took pride in it and the completed product was something to be proud of.

It used to be that everyone in America was that way. Creating things with their own hands and valuing the quality of their work. Things were created here in America. We live in a different world today but I think it’s important to hold on to a little bit of the past. I would encourage everyone to learn to create or do something tangible. Knit, woodwork, metalwork, brew, farm, sew, grow, fish, hunt, build, create!

Find that old art form that appeals to you and invest just a little time each day or week to it. Pick a small project to start and don’t stop until its perfected.

I’m reminded of something Tom Cruise’s character Algren said in the movie, The Last Samurai reference the Samurai:

“They are an intriguing people. From the moment they wake they devote themselves to the perfection of whatever they pursue. I have never seem such discipline.”

This is America and we are intriguing ourselves. We are great!