Personal Responsibility vs. External Locus of Control

The Devil made me do it! The blame game! It’s not my fault! Recently my five year old has been struggling with personal responsibility. I throw him a perfectly thrown ball and he drops it. The ensuing response…”That was your fault!” “You didn’t keep your eye on the ball,” I say. His reply, “I did!” Try to explain why something happened the way it did and be ready for an excuse. The frequent excuses and blame shifting drives me crazy.

Then again he is only five years old. I still have time to establish a sense of personal responsibility. What about adults who have an external locus of control? I mean we all do to some degree, but some of us are in the advanced stages of this disease. I think politicians must be particularly susceptible to it but I digress.

The lack of personal responsibility is a major problem with society today. Think of the people you admire most, bosses you have enjoyed working for, leaders you have respected…where were they on the spectrum of personal responsibility? Blame shifting has never been an admirable quality yet so many people do it. To make matters worse we have people and programs, which foster an external locus of control. These enablers are not necessarily bad people and their intentions may be good…but as the saying goes: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

We have an obligation to teach personal responsibility and model it for others. A strong sense of personal responsibility also leads to positive self-image and sense of accomplishment when we do achieve something. We need to invest in our own self-worth. This is why social programs that offer a hand-up ad not a hand out are so much more successful in the long term. “If you teach a man to fish….”

This is why the Founding Fathers got it right when they penned the unalienable right, “the PURSUIT of happiness” and not simply “happiness.” The struggle in life is what makes it satisfying its what makes you feel proud of your accomplishments. It’s why a class system from poverty to elite is necessary. It’s why concepts such as “Social Justice” are wrong. This does not mean however that we as individuals (not a collective) do not have a responsibility to help those less fortunate. But we must target our charity to the can nots and not the will nots. We must teach personal responsibility.

For us to have a truly productive, flourishing successful society and nation we must be willing to recognize our INDIVIDUAL mistakes and be honest with ourselves. We need to learn from the past and not live in it.